Friendship I have discovered is very hard to define. I used to think two people going together, whether of the same sex or different, liking the same things or being able to tolerate each other’s weaknesses, already comprise the essence of friendship. And probably a good part of my life, I was always looking for a friend.
There were many people who came into my life. And as always I find there are always flaws and imperfections. There was one who was good only while I still could help her with homework or other things, and the other one always found fault with everything I try to do. There was someone who always wanted to beat me at something, whether it was the best seat in the class or the being the class favorite, and for that she would scheme and get bitchy, but when she needed something it was me she always approached.
There were so called “fair weather friends” and there were those who suffocated you with too much solicitude. Some whom I considered good and sincere always had a reason or circumstance to go and leave. It was indeed difficult to find a true friend.
Growing older and thank God many times wiser, I have learned not to seek friends anymore. I try hard to be a friend. It is not easy watching people you care about walk out on you or betray you or even compete destructively or talk nasty things about you when you turn your back, but I have just learned to accept that nobody is perfect, or nobody stays forever. It doesn’t mean I do not rant or speak my mind out to the offender when I am offended, I too have my own share of meanness . But what I learned is that everything passes, emotions, and bruises can heal with time. Life is too short to be spent nurturing grudges and heart aches.
It is not Friendship Day yet, but I am celebrating today or tomorrow my friendship with the Father of my children. Our friendship has spanned thirty years this June 2011. He is the only one friend of mine who stayed with me through thick and thin, through good times and bad times. He is not a perfect friend, but he was the first to teach me how to be a friend. We celebrate two anniversaries one in April and another in June. But today I greet him “Happy Fathers’ day Dad!”
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